Tomorrow is the big day. Although it seems like an eternity since my husband and I began trying to conceive (TTC), tomorrow will finally be the day I can proudly say I got pregnant!
You may be thinking, “Umm, hold on there hun, aren’t you being a little too hasty? Don’t get your hopes too high – you don’t want to jinx yourself right before your embryo implantation!”
I understand your concern, but from day one I decided I would do everything in my power to create the most positive outcome, vs setting low expectations and being content with an unsuccessful IVF cycle. I have never been a superstitious person, but one who actively cultivates an optimistic mindset and outlook on life, with a “glass half-full” perspective.
I have had to overcome many obstacles in my life: from coming to the US with my family at the age of 9 as a refugee, not speaking any English, being discriminated against, and being told to “go back to where I came from”, and even having the courage to leave an abusive ex-husband. I have overcome all of this through my faith in God, but also through the gift of positivity that was passed on to me from my amazing mother.
Through every challenge put before me I could have made a choice and given up – given into the misery and depression that often comes with life’s unexpected curve-balls. If I had done that I certainly would not be where I am today, but stuck in such a dark place that no amount of therapy or prescription drugs could ever bring me back into the land of the living.
Instead, I chose to tackle each day and every obstacle head on, armed with courage, strength, and as much positivity as I could muster up. Even in the most challenging times I tried to see what good could come out of a not-so-pleasant situation. Yes, sometimes life is unfair, devastating, and just plain sucks, but how could this “challenge” impact me in a positive way?
A personal example of this was when I left my ex-husband of 8 years for a number of reasons. It was the most difficult and the best decision I had ever made. I gave up everything, my husband, my home, our business, and moved across the country to start all over again from scratch. I left with nothing.
Scary, excruciatingly difficult, but a decision I am so happy I made. I no longer needed to do what everyone else told me to do. I no longer had to live confined by old-school wife stereotypes and super conservative religious expectations. I could finally be myself and surround myself with people who loved me for who I was, and didn’t try to change me into somebody they thought would make them happy.
I would have never had the many incredible life experiences I’ve had to date if I didn’t take chances and most importantly, if I didn’t look on the bright side of things. It’s very easy for us to complain, wallow in our misery, and give up. It is a lot harder to look on the bright side and see the silver lining even in the worst of times.
So that is why, even after our struggles with fertility, I decided to step into the IVF journey with my rose-colored glasses. At the start of our IVF journey, I remember telling my husband that I do not want to hear an ounce of negativity in our home through our journey because I want to put all of my energy into cultivating a happy & healthy IVF journey and not project all the horrible things that could go wrong. I was shooting for the stars ladies, and I was not settling for anything less than. Mind you, I am not blind to the success rates of my age group or the numerous times many couples end up going through the IVF cycle before finally conceiving their bundle of joy.
I choose to be optimistic, to find the joy in the process (how lucky are we to be living at an age where this is actually possible?!), and project as much happiness and excitement unto my embryo(s) as possible. I do this so my future babies, however microscopic they may be, already know and feel that their momma is bursting with joy awaiting their arrival.